This is one of those times that I sound so emo as I write. But in actual fact, I'm just stating what is going on with life. There are many times I avoid writing about this on my blog as those who knows me well enough, would know by now what kind of person I really am. But this time I am ready to pour it, whoever reading, don't worry I am fine.. :)
Anyway, remember those times when we were really young that when we are angry with a friend, we would go, "I don't friend you!!" on one day and the next day we get back together and play again? I kinda wish friendship is still as simple as that. During that time, the things we fight about and angry about were tiny matters but it seems like world war. But we would end up forgeting it the next day, either we just forget about the anger or we still want to be friends.
As we grow, things start to change. Once something happen, whether it is a simple matter or complicated matter, it can just change 360 degree the next day and that is the end of it. Things are not as easy as we just forget whatever happened and be friends again. Must it be that way?
For me, friendships are made for a reason. Every single one you crossed path with, definitely have a reason as to why this person is here in your life and made a mark in the journey. I believe every single friends I've made, whether close ones or not so close ones, I know they made a difference in my life. It might be the slightest reason but it's still important. So, with that I know I will help whoever I know who needs help whenever needed.
As many would know I'm a social butterfly. Too sociable until I have too many friends. I didn't plan to be that way but to recall back, I was like that when I'm back in high school. I remember those times when during recess time, I am not always in the same gang of friends. I would be taking turns and mixing different groups. Even then, I did not have any problems with it. My friends still treat me well. I mixed well with both the studious ones and the naughty ones.
But as we grow, friendships can either make you stronger or break you. Once, I remember the times that people claimed that I ditched my old friends for my new friends I made. Those who know me well enough, would know that's not true. But it is just sad to know that those that thought the same, when you thought they are your true friends who understand the sociable person in me. Because of this kind of rumours and so, the friendship went cold and left a gap in between. After that, it took a long while to mend the gap and to end up knowing it wasn't true at all from the beginning, times that could be more enjoyable or memorable, were gone just like that.
The trust issue between friends is like couple trusting each other. These trust have to be build from the day you started the friendship and the longer you know a person, you would know whether is this person a true friend or not. For me, maybe my instinct is accurate and it had never failed me on that part. I analysed people around me much that sometimes if things goes wrong with them, I was able to pick up little details like that. At the same time, because I've seen all types of people throughout my journey, I experienced too much that I know I would not want to fall and land badly. Being 25, you guys out there may think I said as if I am so wise and know it all, but for me, it is good enough for me how to know the real person in someone.
In relation to trust, I would say I know who I truly trust and who I can look for, for a shoulder to cry on when things happen. Like a friend just now asked me, count and see how many friends you think you can tell everything to? Can you count in one hand? I know the exact number. To me, a true friend would be there and know it when you are in trouble or in need. He/She would listen to you and advise you and help you analyse things very unbiasly. He/She would respect you for who you are and be supportive of you all the way. And the most important part, a true friend will never try to change who you are.
Many had told me, "Jenny, you are too nice already." Am I really that nice? If so, why are there bad rumours about me around? Is being nice wrong? Is helping others wrong? If I am able to help, why shouldn't I help? Then more questions popped out questioning me more, "What are you getting yourself into? What are you getting out of this? What if you are being make used of? " If everything is about me and what return I will get, then why does friendship exist? If people want to make used of me, anyone can do it, even the closest friends. So, am I to not trust people around me and be so anti-social and end up a social outcast?
To me, my theory is this. If can I do it, I will do it. If I can help, I'll help. If I don't lose from doing it, why not. Conclusion, as long as what I do is not against what my heart tells me, not against the law and not against ethics, I don't see why I shouldn't do it.
So, my friends, why make trouble in friendships when adding one friend is better than adding one enemy. Fair enough if making friends will use up all your time and all but besides working or studying.. when you are abroad away from family, isn't friends good to accompany you and all. Yes, maybe one group of close knitted friends would be enough, but I don't see why not making more friends. Sometimes, even close ones might be busy to hang out, at least I won't complain and all. As long as I know who are my closest friends, then it's all good, right?
I didn't realise I typed so much. But generally, my friends who are reading this, do not assume i'm saying about you all or don't think I'm going against whatever you all said to me. It's just my general opinion about making friends. I know you guys that cared, want me to be aware of what's happening around me so that I am not being make used of my kindness.
But trust me, I know what's happening. I know the rumours that goes around, I know things that shouldn't be out there .. are out there, I know every single things that is happening. Then why am I not making big fuss of it? Cause I cannot control what people say. I cannot make them say good things about me. As long as I think I did not do anything wrong, I'm happy that I did whatever I did. If I am make used of my kindness, I believe in karma will happen to that person. If you want to believe what others say, go ahead and judge me. To those who say things about me, I just wish them all the best in their life with my heart. I just wish that whoever who want to be neutral or want to judge for yourself, listen to both side stories accurately and make sure no salt and sugar is added into the facts. I believe this is the right way to judge anything.
I was talking to one of my close friends last night and I told him this.. "When someone did something bad, people will talk about it and that person get judge badly. When someone did something good, people will still talk about it and can still be judge as bad. So, this is life."
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